


I Just Want You To Know Who I Am

by GobsmackApplejack



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: City of Angels!AU, Dead Claudia Stilinski, Happy Ending, M/M, Vague Suicidal Ideation, but brief, by that i mean, canon minor character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 06:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10565748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GobsmackApplejack/pseuds/GobsmackApplejack
Summary: The City of Angels!AU that I wanted someone to write, but accidentally started writing myself.  This one has a happy ending.Derek is a doctor.  Stiles is an angel of death.  He escorts souls as they pass from earth to the afterlife.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyDrace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDrace/gifts).



> In a chat with LadyDrace, we talked about a Sommersby!AU with a happy ending. That started me thinking of this sad ending love story and how I could sterek it. This started as a prompt and turned into a not!fic. If anyone wants to write this into a full fic, please do! There is gold to be mined in Stiles learning to human. Also the relationship development here got the shaft. And the sex. Tbh the conclusion was pretty half-assed. (So, all the important parts basically.)
> 
> You know you have to listen to the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYWuo9OFAw) now too, right?

Derek is a doctor.  He went into medicine because he wants to help people.  The more lives he can save, the more he feels he can bury the guilt of the deaths of his entire family. **  
**

Stiles is an angel of death.  Escorts souls as they pass from earth to the afterlife. (No, he wasn’t there when the Hale fire happened.)

One day in the operating room, Derek has a police sheriff on his table.  He had been shot in the line of duty, saving a school bus full of kids (or something equally as dawwww and heroic).  Derek has his hands in the sheriff’s chest cavity, giving compressions directly to his heart.  Stiles is waiting in the room. His long dark coat a stark contrast to the light tiles and cold steel of the emergency operating room.  Derek glances up, directly at the corner where Stiles is standing.

“You can’t have him. Not today.”  It’s a statement.  Made directly to him.  

Stiles is startled.  Never before has he felt he’d been spoken to, so directly.  So intentionally.

He doesn’t take the sheriff.  He’ll catch hell for it, but sometimes these things happen.  Those near death/temporary death experiences;  An angel missed their cue.

Stiles follows Derek around.  Watches him saving lives, making small talk with hospital staff. Checking in on Erica, Boyd, Isaac.  Derek finances their schooling. He’d set up a scholarship with the insurance money and they are his first three recipients.  Once they finish school he’ll find more at-risk kids with potential to give scholarships to.  They don’t have a relationship per se.  They just know him as their benefactor.  Though, they’ve gotten to know each other through the program and are good friends with each other.

Derek lives a pretty solitary life. Every day he goes home to his cats.

Stiles hangs around his house and hears Derek talking to “Laura”.  At first thinks it’s one of his cats.  Then he realizes there’s a picture of a beautiful dark haired woman tucked into a mirror frame.

Stiles asks around.  Several angels know the Hales.  Eleven of them were called to duty at the same time.  Adults, children, babies, all taken at once. Unfortunately it’s not so unusual.  But there is usually some disaster or war that would require several angels at once.

He finds the angel who escorted Laura.  She didn’t cross until a few years later, leaving Derek all alone.

Stiles visits the sheriff in the hospital while he’s recovering.  The room is empty save for Stiles sitting in the visitor’s chair.  Which, no one would know, since he’s invisible.

“Doc says I’m out of the woods.  I’m getting better.  Hell, I just got my cholesterol to good levels.  You’re not taking me.  Not today.  Not any time soon.”

Stiles is startled. Does this patient know he’s there?

Nurse McCall comes in. “What was that Sheriff Stilinski?  Complaining about the food again?” Stiles leaves. He must have misunderstood.

* * *

Derek checks on John Stilinski more than he would his other patients. He recognized him from the night of the fire. The sheriff had been a deputy then.

Derek clears his throat quietly and John opens his eyes.  “Sheriff. I’m Derek Hale. I don’t know if you-”

“Derek!  Of course!  From Beacon Hills.  That’s wonderful you’re a doctor now. And not just because you saved my life.”

“You left Beacon Hills too?”

“Yeah. After my wife died… it got too painful. Too many memories.” He looks at Derek. The unspoken, ‘You understand’ hangs heavy in the air.

“Thank you. Really.” John reaches out to put his hand on Derek’s holding the chart.  “If you ever need anything, let me know.”

“Thank you, Sheriff.  I will.”  It makes Derek feel better for some reason.  Like someone will be looking out for him.  He hasn’t felt that since Laura was around.

* * *

Stiles decides to make himself visible to Derek.  They talk and get to know each other.  Derek thinks Stiles is a little odd.  Always asking about Derek’s favorite things.  What he couldn’t live without.  What it was like the first time he saw the ocean, the snow.  How it feels to swim. What his favorite foods are.  (Because Stiles has no sense of taste, touch or smell.  And he’s very curious.)

There’s not much Stiles can tell Derek about himself without revealing his true nature.  His job is… delivering packages.  But it’s all very secretive.  He lives… in town nearby, nowhere specific.  Derek doesn’t mind. He enjoys the company.  And he feels like he knows Stiles, despite not knowing much about him.

One day Derek is talking about losing his family.  It’s a big step for him.  It’s the broad story, no specifics, nothing about Kate.  Just the fact that he lost them.  All at once.  Stiles asks what happened to Laura.  Derek reels back in shock.  He’d never mentioned Laura to Stiles.  He becomes suspicious that Stiles had something to do with Laura’s death, that he’s there to spy on Derek or finish the job or something.  He cuts all contact with Stiles.

Stiles is devastated.  The world is bleak, gray and hopeless. The sunrise sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  He’s just existing, but doesn’t even want to anymore.

Out of desperation, he goes to see the sheriff.  Sits in the visitor’s chair again, waiting for… something.

John Stilinski has his eyes closed.  If Stiles couldn’t feel his conscious awareness, he’d think he was sleeping.

“I know you’re there.  Today’s not the day.”  

Stiles makes himself visible to the sheriff.  “How do you know?”

“What, that I’m not dying?”  John opens his eyes and looks at Stiles.  He’s not surprised or startled at all.

“No, that I was here.”

“It’s a feeling.  My line of work.  You see a death or two.”

“But how.”

“It’s a secret.”  

Stiles harumps and crosses his arms.  He would deny it, but maybe he pouts.  A little.

“I’d be willing to let you in on the secret for a Tommy’s burger.”

“Really?  But I can’t.  Derek won’t-”

“Oh. You’ll figure out a way.”

Stiles considers his options for a moment.  Then remembers his original purpose of visiting.

“So. Your doctor….”

“Derek?”

“Yes, okay.  Derek…”  He doesn’t know what to say without it sounding like a schoolgirl crush.  He pauses, thinking what to ask instead of, “do you think he _likes_ me likes me?”

“You’re not…” The sheriff squints at Stiles. “You leave him alone. You don’t touch a hair on his head. And you leave his friends alone too. Nobody. No one he cares about. Stay away.  Kid’s had enough tragedy for five lifetimes.

“Not like that!”  Stiles is horrified at even the thought of taking Derek across.  “Sheesh. I wasn’t going to.  But… you know about his family?”

“Yeah, kid. I know.”

“Why do you call me kid?  I’m older than you are.”

“Don’t count on it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Bring me my burger and we’ll talk.”

* * *

Melissa brings in burgers one day.  Well, her son brings them in and has lunch with them both. She didn’t know why, but said she’d had a craving for burgers suddenly, and Scott was on his way in so picked them up for her.  Stiles watches them eat together, chatting, laughing.  When the sheriff takes his last bite and licks the grease off his thumb, he winks at the corner where Stiles is standing, invisible.

Later, Stiles goes to the room when no one else is around.

“Okay kiddo. You fulfilled your end.  Here’s my story.”  He pauses.  It’s probably not for dramatic effect, but Stiles is so anxious to hear it he’s leaning forward in his chair.

“I’m one of you.”

“What?!”  He did not expect that.  Never in- Never could he have imagined that an angel would be able to become human.

“I used to do what you do. Decided I wanted to become human.”

“How?”

“You have to… fall.”

“And?”

“And, that’s it.  It might be more the intent of your actions.  But He gets the message.”

“And that’s it? After that you’re human?”

“Well, it’s a learning curve. But yes, you’re human.”

“So all I have to do-”

“But really think about it,” the sheriff interrupts.  “You have to realize what you’re giving up.  Why are you considering this?”

“I-” Stiles can’t put it into words.  He wants to know Derek.  Be with him.  So badly.  “How did you decide you wanted to?”

The sheriff smiles.  “I spent all my free time watching her.”

“Her?”

“Claudia. Claudia Gajos.  Then I talked to her and it was all over.”

“You fell in love.”

“Yes.”

“How did you know how to become like them?

“Met a guy. Like me telling you now. He told me about falling.”

“Did you do it right away?”

“Yes.”

“How could you be sure?”

“She was the only thing I could think of. Night or day.  I wanted to…  I just had to be with her.  Hold her hand.  Smell her hair.  Taste her skin.  I felt like I was dying not to.”

“Is she at home?  She hasn’t been to visit.”

The sheriff gets a sad, distant look. “She passed away.  We were together for five years. I had five years with her.”

Stiles stops.  Considers what that means, to someone in his position.  “Did you know?”

“No, I didn’t know. She got sick, we found out about it four years after I fell. It… went quickly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.  Thanks, kiddo.  Me too.”

“Would you still do it?  Knowing what you know now… would you still do it?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Stiles nods.  Five years with Derek.  One year.  A day.  He’d take it.  Now that he knows it’s possible.

* * *

Derek, more depressed than usual since he cut off contact with Stiles, checks in on John Stilinski.

The sheriff sees his face and raises his eyebrows in concern. “You doing okay, son?”

“I think I’m the one here checking up on you.” Derek smiles wanly and looks over his charts.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t need looking after as well.  You have people who worry about you. Who want to make sure you’re okay.”

Derek is startled. It sounds like-  “Do you know Stiles? Are you- are you working with him?”

“Working with him? Nah.  I’ve gotten to know him.  He’s stopped by.  Kept me company.  Got me that burger I’ve been craving.”

Derek scowls, but there’s a hint of a smile there too.

“He’s a good kid. He’s really, really good.  An angel, really.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Maybe more literally than figuratively.  Are you going to talk to him?”

“You think I made a mistake?”

“I don’t know what you did.  But you don’t seem happy right now.”

“I don’t know if I can trust him.”

“And he doesn’t know if he can trust you.  But he’s willing to take a chance on you.”

“What does that mean?  I’m not a risk.  I don’t- I’m… I’m nothing.”

“You’re not nothing mister.  You’re an amazing doctor and a kind, caring person.  And he’s pretty special too, and willing to risk everything for you.”

Derek nods.  It’s what he wanted to hear.  What he needed to hear.

"How do I tell him?"

"Just say it out loud.  He'll hear you." 

 

 

* * *

Derek goes to the place where they met up the most, the park just across the street from the hospital.  To the fountain where they’d eat lunch.  (Well, where Derek ate lunch.  Stiles never ate.)

“I’m willing to take a chance.  I don’t- I can’t offer you anything.  I’m nothing special.  But I want to- I want us to be together.”  He says it to the air, to the water in the fountain, to the angel sculpture perched at the top of it.

There’s no sound save for the normal ambient city/park noises.  He feels like he’s talking to the void.

 

But Stiles hears him.  In his excitement he goes immediately to the tallest place he knows, the city bell tower.  He falls.

It’s the scariest thing he’s ever done.  Also the easiest.

 

The sheriff, newly released from the hospital picks him up.  Takes him back to his home to get him on his feet; i.e. physically able to get around on his own.  They tell Melissa and Scott the secret and they help too.  

Stiles is amazed by everything.

“Holy shit, Scotty!  I just took a shit!  This is amazing!  I’m amazing!”

“Look, Melissa!  I’m bleeding!  There’s blood inside me and it’s coming out!”

“Oh my god!  Curly fries are the best!  I can’t believe I haven’t tasted curly fries before!  Wait, Sheriff.  You’re not supposed to eat these. You’ll thank me later.”

As soon as he is physically able, he finds Derek.

Tells him about who he was. About seeing Derek that day in the operating room.  About asking around to his friends who crossed with Derek’s family.  About talking to the angel who took Laura.  About meeting the sheriff and becoming human.

Stiles asks Derek to let him, as he is now, as a somewhat clumsy and excitable human, into his life.  Derek of course agrees.  He may cry a little.

Derek takes him to the ocean. To the snow.  On a rollercoaster.  Feeds him cotton candy and funnel cake, truffles and filet mignon, lobster and wine.  He tries to keep him away from caffeine after that first time, but it’s a losing battle.

They have sex, and it is AMAZING! (Someone who is not me please write Stiles’s thoughts on what sex is like for a being who did not have the sense of touch, taste or smell until just now.)

AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  THIS IS THE ONLY ENDING I WILL ACCEPT.

Final scene is a backyard barbecue with John, Melissa, Stiles, Derek, Scott and Kira.  Also, Derek’s cats and the dogs they’ve adopted.  Oh yeah, Boyd, Erica and Isaac too - Stiles drew them into the family.  (As an aside: Melissa and John get married so Scott starts to call him dad, then Stiles slips up and calls him dad and it sticks. So then Derek calls him dad too.)

Final, _final_ scene is the same, or maybe Christmas, years later, with everyone - plus babies!

**Author's Note:**

> I realized while writing this that the sheriff's story is basically the original City of Angels story. The one with the sad ending. I was going to have a conversation where Stiles asks if they had kids. John says no, they wanted them, it just didn't happen. But Claudia had already picked out the name Mieczyslaw. John thought that was too much name to saddle a little kid with, but her heart was set on it, and he'd give her anything she wanted. I think i was too busy crying to work it in. *sob*
> 
> So this is my first posted Sterek fic. Woo hoo! I have _many_ more in the works, but this just popped out. The lack of writing style really helped with the speed on this one.
> 
> Here's my [sterek tumblr](https://mutualpiningandawkwardness) and my [main tumblr](gobsmackapplejack.tumblr.com). Come say hi!


End file.
